Pastor’s Wife’s Motive

Mary Winkler shot her husband who was a pastor of a church in Selmer, Tennessee. Her motive has now been revealed.

Winkler said the two had argued throughout the evening about several things, including family finances. The problems were “mostly my fault,” she said, because she was in charge of keeping the family books.

“He had really been on me lately criticizing me for things – the way I walk, I eat, everything. It was just building up to a point. I was tired of it. I guess I got to a point and snapped,” Booth read to the court.

With all the people with problems pastors deal with, they often come home and try to fix their family. Often this fixing turns into criticism. Something all pastors, especially me, have to be aware of. Love those around you, especially those closest to you.

Noah’s Ark

Noah’s Ark has made news recently. A team of American archaeologists has discovered something on top of a mountain in Iran that leads them to believe they have discovered Noah’s Ark. The news is now everywhere.

Let me be the first to say that “I doubt it.” If I know God like I think I do, this will turn out to be an old Bedouin racketball court. I mean seriously, since when has any huge discovery actually turned out to be legitimate?

I would love nothing more than for God to have left Noah’s Ark sitting around to end, once and for all, any doubts about the validity of Scripture. But seriously, it aint gonna happen. Not only that, if this is Noah’s Ark, people will worship it.

It reminds me of one of the stranger verses in Scripture, Jude 9, where Michael the archangel fought with the devil over the body of Moses. No one could find where Moses was buried because God knew that would not be a good idea.

So, just wait, in about a year, when the lab results come forth, you’ll hear that Bedouins used to play racketball on top of mountains on a daily basis, everyone knows that. Christians are so dumb. Just wait.

Jesus Loves Porn Stars Part II

I commented on this deal awhile back. A Christian organization has decided to target porn stars. They recently attended a porn expo, bought a booth and handed out Bibles to porn people with “Jesus loves porn stars” written on the cover.

Obviously, this ministry has created some controversy. Here’s one take on it from Albert Mohler.

Dumb Kids

Kids are born really dumb. Parents know how dumb the kids are but the kids don’t. When they learn to talk, they always say, “I know.” Pride goes before the fall and kids fall an awful lot.

The temptation of the parent is to step in and make sure they don’t fall again. Parents can over-protect, over-analyze, over-harp, and over-everything to keep their precious one safe. However, this only keeps the child dumb.

I know when my kids are about to get hurt or when they are about to break something. I try not to stop them all the time. I will stop them if 1) the injury will cost me money or 2) the thing about to be broken is mine.

Otherwise, I try my best to let the kid just go ahead and be dumb. Dumb kids don’t know they are dumb. You have to let them be dumb so they will see how dumb they are.

I borrow this principle from God, a person who claims to be my Father. Deuteronomy 8:2 says that God let Israel wander in the wilderness so they would “know what is in [their] heart.” God already knew; Israel didn’t.

God let Israel be dumb for 40 long years to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt how dumb they were. Israel should have seen clearly and learned from that. Many of them did. David and Solomon come shortly after.

Ah, but being dumb is a hard habit to break. Deuteronomy 8:5 tells fathers to chasten their kids like God chastens Israel. Let em be dumb. Maybe the dumbies will see how dumb they are and decide to learn.

My Bad Eyes

When my eyes are on me, I get depressed quick. I consider all the junk, all the failings and all the things in life that make me fail. I tend to then despise those things, wish they were obliviated. “Have that removed.”

But the things are not removed and the failures continue. I pray self-centered prayers about how awful I blew it and how come I can’t just go to heaven? The flesh pulls me down more.

But, sometimes, something flicks in my brain and says “Look up for a second.” Funny thing about walking, when you look at your feet you are more likely to trip, or at least get lost. If you look in front of you your steps will be more assured.

We are told to look toward the finish line. Look up. Walk carefully by watching where we are going. My bad eyes like to look at me and my problems. It takes effort to look up to Christ.

God’s Bad Eyes

I have often heard it said that God sees believers as blameless and holy. However, when I look at “believers,” including myself, I see a different picture. Maybe God has really bad eyes. Maybe He’s watching something else. Maybe He’s like a Cub fan who turns the game off early so he doesn’t see the bad that’s about to come.

Or maybe it’s true. Nah, couldn’t be. We’re too used to the struggle and the failure. We’re witnesses to our flesh and our rebellion. We know our thoughts. God’s messed up on this one.

Oh yeah, it’s nice to say that He sees us in Christ. But what about my sin? Doesn’t God see my sin? Christ died for something so I imagine He sees my sin. But He sees something much greater: He sees the holiness and love of Christ.

“Thus what he [God] sees in us is not so much the evil that was ours but the good that is his.” Thomas Merton has a way of saying things well. I think that is said very well. We’re the ones with the bad eyes that can’t see far enough to see our position in Christ as a reality.

It’s A, Uh, Little Known Fact Der. . .

Hiram, the King of Tyre sent trees to Solomon to help build the temple. This was sent by way of the sea. People who lived in Tyre were Phoenicians, some of the earliest sailors.

The reason they were sailors was that Tyre was an island. However, Alexander the Great besieged Tyre and built a bridge, or causeway, out to the island with rocks and dirt. Tyre then became a city on a peninsula. Weird.

What’s particularly weird to me is that Tyre is now on a stone bridge. Hmm, a Bridgestone Tyre even.

Religion Swapping

A new Gallup Poll on switching your religion found that:

Always the same religious preference – 72%
Switched from one religious preference to another – 15%
Moved away from any religion whatsoever – 10%
No opinion – 3%

The top three reasons for switching religion as answered according to specific Gallup options:

You disagreed with the teachings of your original religion–40%
You found a new religion that is more fulfilling–38%
You grew dissatisfied with your local church and as a result changed religions–26%

I think Gallup could have included a few more options for why people left their religion, options which would have been more relevant I think. Options like: I left my religion because–

–Previous religion’s music sucked.
–Thought your religious leader had too nice of a car.
–Not enough single women.
–Uncomfortable chairs.
–Lack of King James Version of their religious text.

Next time they do this poll, they will get much more accurate answers if they include these options. Just trying to help.

God: Stupider Every Day

The more people learn and discover about the world around them, the more dumb God appears. Apparently, all God’s bloviating about homosexuality being so wrong is just plain stupidity. Homophobic stupidity. Who knew that God was so uncaring?

Scientists have now discovered that homosexual men are made that way because a male fetus is seen as foreign in a woman’s womb. She then attacks the male fetus with antibodies, and thus, turns said male fetus into an artsy-fartsy shemale.

I tell ya what. God should have known that long before we did, eh? Almost makes me want to rip out Romans 1 from my Bible. How could He blow such a simple explanation and ruin homosexual people’s lives with all that guilt for so long? Unreal.

This, of course, also totally explains why some women are lesbians.

Moving Mountains?

“When we read in the New Testament of faith ‘moving mountains’ we must not interpret the symbolic language in an exclusively literal sense, as if it meant that prayer were a wonderful means of accomplishing physically difficult tasks.

“Faith does indeed deal with impossibilities: but it is not intended as a substitute for mere physical power, or medicine, or study, or human investigation.

“When Christ taught his hearers that they must have faith, he did not intend that they should merely use it to change the landscape. He was telling men their faith should be of a kind that was not daunted by any obstacle or any apparent impossibility.

“The lesson was directed to the qualities of faith, not to the nature of the task to be done.”

–Thomas Merton, Life and Holiness

Insuring Virgin Birth

Three women have tried to take out a 1 million pound insurance policy in case of giving a virgin birth. I have no idea, allow me to quote:

The cover was meant to pay for the cost of bringing up Christ if one of them has a virgin birth.
“The people were concerned about having sufficient funds if they immaculately conceived. It was for caring and bringing up the Christ.”

The burden of proof that it was Christ had rested with the women and any premium on the insurance was donated to charity, said Mr Burgess. The siblings had paid £100 annually since 2000. If they had secured a payout, they stood to receive £1m.

“The Catholic Church is up in arms about what we’ve been doing. We have withdrawn the cover because it was causing a furore. The three ladies have been informed.”

Communication Breakdown

I thought this sign was hilarious. It’s funny how no one else thought it was. It’s weird how people can interpret the same words differently.

Children don’t interpret “Come here” or “be quiet” the same way parents do. Husbands don’t interpret “dress up” or “just a little” the same way wives do. Christians don’t interpret “live by faith” or “mortify the flesh” the same way God does.

Communication is key to all relationships, yet communication has been severely tainted by sin. People say things wrong while others hear things wrong. Some folks, like me, have strange minds that twist any message to mean something else just for kicks.

It’s one more obstacle we face in the “bond of love” believers have in Christ. It’s even more of an obstacle when we take our Christianized message to the world who uses completely different vocabulary.

One thing I do know, there is no need to put up signs telling my boy to please stay off the wall. He’s always off the wall.

Jesus Band Aids

If Jesus can heal, why not put his image on band-aids? Well, you don’t have to ask “why not” anymore! These special band-aids not only have the picture of our Lord and Savior on them,

they have also been blessed by the pope. You can’t help but get healthy quick with these. And, if not, you still get a free toy!

The Good Word

Funny or true?

The Music Of Life

I came across this short little book while going through my dad’s books. It didn’t take long to read it, it’s only 57 pages. It contains one of G. Campbell Morgan’s sermons that he preached many times during his life.

The book is about life and the various stages or chords of it. For each stage of life, Morgan defines it with four notes or traits that make up the chord. For instance, the chord of Infancy is made up of the notes–Mystery, Innocence, Dependence and Promise.

I thought he had a very unique take on life in this format. He always seems to say things very well, one of the main reasons I like G. Campbell Morgan. He rarely blows your mind with insight, but often impresses you with his succinctness. Well done.

It’s All Politics

A man running for congress blamed his campaign troubles on the devil. It’s refreshing to hear that it was the devil’s fault rather than the liberal media’s, or is that the same thing?

A More Contemporary Trinity

The Presbyterian Church, USA, held their national assembly to vote on various pressing issues, like whether they should rename the members of the Trinity to be more “sex-inclusive.” Here are some of the proposed names for the more inclusive trinity.

“Mother, Child and Womb”
“Rock, Redeemer, Friend”
“Lover, Beloved, Love”
“Creator, Savior, Sanctifier”
“King of Glory, Prince of Peace, Spirit of Love”

A summary of why the names need to be changed goes like this, “The language used for hundreds of years to describe the Father and Son ‘has been used to support the idea that God is male and that men are superior to women.'”

I often get the idea from the Bible that I am a sinner. That does not strike me as a real sensitive term. At the national Jeff Weddle assembly, we voted to call us “perfectly limited.”

Satan’s Deception

From A. Scott Moreau’s The World of the Spirit’s:

Satan has his own trinity–the dragon, the beast and the false prophet (Revelation16:13). He has his own church, a “synagogue of Satan” (Revelation 2:9). He has his own servants who, “masquerade as servants of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:14-15). He has formulated his own system of theology, “doctrines of devils” (1 Timothy 4:1). He has established his own sacrificial system. “the Gentiles. . . Sacrifice to devils” (1 Corinthians 10:20). He has his own communion service, “the cup of demons. . . And the table of demons” (1 Corinthians 10:21). His ministers proclaim his own gospel(s), “a gospel contrary to the one we have preached to you” (Galatians 1:7,8). He has his own throne (Revelation 13:2) and his own worshippers (Revelation 13:4).

Satan looks like a Christian but in reality, he’s just playing with us before his dinner.

Jesus Must Be So Proud

• Various religions that have an apocalypse doctrine are getting busy doing what is necessary to bring the End soon. Strategies include sending missionaries to tell everyone about Jesus, improving the city of Tehran, trying to build a temple in Jerusalem and raising a herd of perfect red heifers. If they only knew that the end already happened.
• “Americans are far more socially isolated today than they were two decades ago, and a sharply growing number of people say they have no one in whom they can confide, according to a comprehensive new evaluation of the decline of social ties in the United States.” Plenty of work for the love of Christ out there.
• Global warming hasn’t been this warm since Jesus was on earth says a new study.
• MORON: A man and his wife see Mary, Jesus and scripture in front yard. Must . . . Obstinately. . . . Restrain . . . . Old . . . . . . Nature.

Passing The Final Test

After confronting the demons and visiting Focus on the Family, I was ready for the ultimate test, to get my photo taken next to a Ten Commandments display.

Not only did I get my photo taken with the law written on stone I also touched it. I even smiled. On the outside. If I can withstand wilderness testing, taking a tour of Focus on the Family sans sarcasm, and associate with a Ten Commandments display, I can truly say that I am a new man.

Ah, the Mission has begun.

The Test

After coming down from the mountain testing, God led me to Focus on the Family located in Colorado Springs. This indeed was a test.

God even arranged it that I would make it to the last tour of the day. I spent an entire hour with numerous braindea. . . oops, don’t want to go there, I keep forgetting I’m a new man. . . with other fine followers of our Saviour.

I managed to keep my mouth shut the entire tour, only breaking out in audible laughter once.

After finishing my test, I wondered, “Am I ready?” Ah, but the test was not done.

Temptation In The Wilderness

To begin my new mission, I spent time in the wilderness just like Jesus and John the Baptist. However, unlike Jesus and J the B, I had a family with me, too.

However, that being the case, I was able to undergo more severe trial and temptation than otherwise. After several days of testing in the wild, God sent me on one more mission to see if I was ready.

The End Is Past

Well, it turns out that the End of the World was indeed scheduled for 6/6/06. God raptured His people, but it turns out I was the only one. Not entirely surprising to either God or I but still somewhat discouraging.

God decided it would be best for the world if I was reverse-raptured and the End was delayed for a bit. Now that I’m back, I have been given a new mission to carry out since the first one didn’t go so well.

Here’s hoping the next End is better than the first.

Even More Enderish

I was unable to post this afternoon as we were having storms. As in “storms.” Satanic type storms. Storms that might be signs of the End. There was thunder AND lightning. Just like on Mount Sinai, just not as much gold, or calves for that matter.

If the moon turns red tonight and the stoplights turn blue tomorrow, we’re done.

The End Is Near

After lunch, my wife sent our kids outside with their cookies. For five minutes, I kid you not, they sat peacefully in this wagon eating their cookies.

If that aint a sign of Satan’s work and the coming of the End, I don’t know what is. Get ready folks. Today is the day.

6-6-06 Vigilance

I am on the alert for Satanic activity today. Ever vigilant, while not doing violent worship that is. I’m constantly looking for signs that the End is near. I found one already.

Somehow, this spider made it over to my desk. I’m assuming it was one of my kids who moved it next to my computer, but then again, my children have, on occasion, convinced me they were tools of the devil. Perhaps they are at work again.

Spiders represent evil. You see them around Halloween anyway. It can’t be good that this thing shows up next to my computer, a tool I use to spread the Word of God on a daily basis. Bad things, bad things are a brewin.

You Got To Pray Just To Make It Today

An evangelical Christian organization in the Netherlands is calling on Christians all around the world to pray for 24 hours today to thwart the Devil’s works on 6-6-06.

“We believe that the plans the enemy has for this date (June 6, 2006) will be destroyed through violent worship and praise. We are inviting the entire world to be part of this huge unity project,” it says on its website www.ambasmin.org.

Now, this is pure genius! Holding a prayer vigil to thwart the apocalypse! There’s about a 99.9% chance they will be able to claim victory here when nothing happens. Plus, if something does, all believers will be gone anyhow! Genius. Wish I had thought of that.

Anyway, I just went and did 50 uppercuts to my Satan punching bag as part of my violent worship, part of the “Tie-Bolzubub” exercise program. What have you done to thwart the devil today?

Guard Your Navel

An Italian priest is resorting to some innovative theology to rid his church of young women’s bare midriffs. “God knew what your navel looked like even before you were born, so there is no need to expose it in church,” commands a sign at the entrance to the church in Cinisello Balsamo.

That’s kind of funny. What’s even more funny is that the reason he has a sign is that his church cannot afford guards like most other churches. One of the tasks of the guards in Italian churches is to keep out people with skimpy attire.

I would imagine that this only encourages young ladies, and probably men in this day, to come with skimpy attire. It would be a badge of honor, no? I would also imagine that various teenage daughters who don’t want to go to church can figure this out too. “I want to go to church dad, but the guard said I couldn’t. What am I gonna do?”

Our Apologies

A Church of England congregation distributed apology letters yesterday, probably instead of church but not specifically stated, to residents in their community.

“Our apology isn’t focused on a specific incident, event or time, but is recognition that the church can make mistakes – sometimes without realizing, and that these mistakes can lead people to feeling unable to attend.

“We want to remove any obstacles to worship and make sure all the people in our parish know that we long for them to return to church and worship with us.”

Well, that’s nice. Did they do it to win people to Christ? Did they do it because they are horrible people and they really need to apologize? Not really, here’s the stated reason, and I quote, “The church hopes the move will boost congregation numbers.”

Perhaps they can skip church next week and hand out apology letters for insincerely apologizing last week.

666 And The Apocalypse

Will the world end tomorrow? The world is a 100,000-to-1 favorite to survive tomorrow. But there are still some whacky evangelicals who still think the end is coming even if not tomorrow. Weirdos.