Month: May 2007

Equally Open Response

I came across this deal here that is an open letter to Evangelicals. The point of the letter is to express concern over Christians supporting Israel in their oppression of Palestinians. It is written to get signatures by pastors and educators who will agree to teach that Israel has been replaced in God’s program and they will never get an earthly kingdom.

It is signed by about 150 guys, most of them Presbyterians, and most notably by R. C. Sproul. The concept that Israel will not get a literal kingdom on earth is known as Covenant Theology or Replacement Theology or Amillennialism. It has been around for awhile, it ain’t nothing new. It got its major impetus from Augustine and the Roman Catholic Church, who saw itself as God’s Kingdom.

I will not be signing the letter as I believe they are wrong. Israel will get a literal kingdom on earth or else God is one hugely fantastic liar. I fail to see how one can read the OT and not come to this conclusion.

Here is just one example of why I think this Letter is hooey. “No New Testament writer foresees a regathering of ethnic Israel in the land, as did the prophets of the Old Testament after the destruction of the first temple.”

You’ve got to be kidding me! Romans 11:26,27 says it quite well and that’s just one example. It’s a large subject and one that is important to understand. The idea that Israel will get it’s Kingdom is fading fast from Christianity.

I will agree with this Letter in that it gives concern over the hyperness of our desire to kill people to get Israel in their land. If a literal interpretation of Scripture means anything, it says quite clearly this will be God’s doing, not US foreign policy’s doing.

All that being said, be aware of the growing tide of Amillennialism. It’s a false teaching and undermines God’s eternal plan, glory and purpose.

Not So Miraculous Babies

Gilbert Deya, a televangelist, claimed that he could give people miracle babies. If you couldn’t give birth, go see Gilbert and soon enough you’d have yourself a baby.

Well, Gilbert’s wife has just been sentenced to two years in jail for stealing babies. That’s right, the miracle babies arrived via stealing them from others.

Gilbert has a case “pending in a Kenyan court acquired by police investigating an alleged child trafficking and smuggling racket between Kenya and Britain.”

Brilliant.

Biblical Beer

Scholars speculate that when the Bible, which was written in Aramaic and ancient Hebrew, mentions wine and “strong drink,” they were most likely referring to beer. Whiskey, gin, vodka, rum, concoctions we consider strong drink, are of fairly recent origin.

They’re made by distillation, a process first used to produce alcohol by Arab and Persian scientists around 800 years after the birth of Christ, long after the events in the Bible.

Welcome to Mendocino Brewing Company

There’s a good chance that biblical beer was made from pomegranates. Mendocino Brewing’s plant in Saratoga Springs, N.Y. is now manufacturing this beer if you’d like to look it up and try some of your own.

Creation Protesters

People have way too much time on their hands. A new creation museum opened in Kentucky and it drew protesters! They were protesting bad science. They even had a plane fly overhead with a banner saying “Thou shalt not lie.”

“It’s really impressive – and it really gives the impression that they’re talking about science at some point,” Krauss said. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being best, “I’d give it a 4 for technology, 5 for propaganda. As for content, I’d give it a negative 5.”

I don’t get that, I really don’t. I didn’t know Americans knew science well enough to know when to protest bad science.

Not Your Father’s ‘Last Supper’

Photo

A visitor looks at a satirical painting of Leonardo Da Vinci’s The Last Supper at the Gallery Loran in Sofia May 25, 2007.

The painting, which was finished at the beginning of the 1980’s by an unknown artist, portrays former Bulgarian communist ruler Todor Zhivkov and the members of the Political Bureau of the country’s Communist Party taking the places of Jesus Christ and the Apostles.

According to Lavren Petrov, owner of Gallery Loran, the painting was confiscated from the painter by the former Bulgarian secret service and preserved until the fall of the Communist regime.

What’s Latin For "Antichrist?"

It was one of the most radical reforms to emerge from the Second Vatican Council. The Mass, root of Roman Catholic worship, would be celebrated in the local language and not in Latin.

Now, little more than a generation later, Pope Benedict XVI is poised to revive the 16th-century Tridentine Mass (in Latin).

That’ll help. I also hear they are going to start doing Bingo in Latin.

I Predict There Will Be Morons

Salem City councilors, hoping to crack down on fraudulent fortunetellers, are trying to define exactly how a psychic can become licensed to set up shop in the Witch City. They want candidates to undergo a criminal background check and to either live or run a business in Salem for at least a year.

But many psychics want the city to go a step further — make sure they’re actually qualified to predict the future.

For some reason this is really funny to me, a test to see if you can predict the future. How hard can that be? Just ask them, “Will the Cubs win today?” One word answer will solve all their problems.

101 Answers

101 Answers to the Most Asked Questions About the End Times is a horrible, horrible name for a book. However, it is rather descriptive of what the book is about.

The book was a simple read and well done. His answers are short but thorough and use Scripture regularly. He covers everything from the rapture, the antichrist, the millennium and pretty much everything having to do with The End.

You won’t find any earth shattering information, it’s all standard stuff but it is said well. A handy reference and good answers to common questions. A good book for anyone looking for a basic understanding of the Christian view of The End.

The Wisdom Of God

About one-third of the American adult population believes the Bible is the actual word of God and is to be taken literally word for word, a new Gallup poll reveals.

Only 17% of adults believe that Gallup polls should be taken literally.

Those who believe in the literal Bible amount to 31% of adult Americans. This is a decline of about 7% compared with Gallup polls taken in the 1970s and 1980s. It is strongest in the South.

Belief in the literal word of the Bible is strongest among those whose schooling stopped with high school and declines steadily with educational level, with only 20% of college graduates holding that view and 11% of those with an advanced degree.

Since those who read this are probably too dumb to understand all those numbers and stuff, here’s what that means: only dumb people believe the Bible is literal.

Mind Things Above

I have seen this quote in fragments, here it is in its entirety. Very well said. C S Lewis got some things right.

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.

The Apostles themselves, who set on foot the conversion of the Roman Empire, the great men who built up the Middle Ages, the English Evangelical who abolished the slave trade, all left their mark on earth, precisely because their minds were occupied with heaven

It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither.”

Get Em Wet

Southern Baptist churches are preparing for their most effective evangelism effort – Vacation Bible School.

The typically weeklong summer sessions for Christian students and neighborhood kids is an over-century-old outreach. But the traditional body worship and singing and arts and crafts approach continues to contribute a significant proportion of baptisms in the nation’s largest Protestant denomination.

I think the Southern Baptists should cut a deal with the Bible theme park and have a log ride type ride, The Baptizer, where at the end of the plunge, every child is dunked into the water and thus baptized and ready to go.

There’s always a solution if we just work together.

The Power And The Money

So the Reverend Al Sharpton now thinks Mormons are Christians. That’s quite a switch for him seeing as how the other day he implied Mormons didn’t even believe in God.

I’m sure he was enlightened by his visit with the LDS’ers, but so much so that he completely switched every opinion he ever had on them? Did he not know anything at all about them previously?

Because you can do a pretty simple Google search and find out everything you need to know. Strange that an influential pentecostal minister would be so ill-informed when dumb little Jeff can figure out some stuff all by his lonesome.

So, the answer to the burning question, are Mormons Christians? Is quite simply answered.

Nope. They deny all that Christ is and all that He accomplished. That aint no Christian my friends.

Jesus Bird Poop

“I couldn’t believe it. I saw the forehead, the nose, the eyes,” Guerrero said. “It’s unbelievable.” The image on the driver’s side of Guerrero’s vehicle is a result of what some birds sent from above.

That’s right, Jesus has shown up in bird poop on a guy’s car. To be honest, this is one of the clearest pictures of the Son of God I have ever seen, he might just have something. All good gifts come from above, don’t ya know.

“Jesus is right there. You can get whatever you want from that,” Guerrero said.

Sharpton Meets LDS

Sharpton spent Monday touring LDS sites, discussing his recently unearthed ancestry and exchanging notes on Christian service with Mormon leaders.

“This visit was not about politics. It was not about controversy,” Sharpton told a group of reporters at the LDS Family History Library. “It was about our trying to learn about each other as believers in God and Christ, to find common ground . . .[and] work together for the good of humanity.”

The Pentecostal minister now believes that Mormons are Christians. Wow, just with one visit he has completely flipped on his views. Must be some temple out there.

I visited the Temple once too. We were even more convinced afterward that these people were certainly not Christians and I don’t mind saying it and there’s nothing political about my view either. Funny how politicians can’t find one religion they disagree with. Odd.

The Nature Of Humans

In listening to people I have identified a few patterns.

1) People who complain about not having enough time talk a lot. This happens for two reasons:

a) nothing is being done while you are talking
b) if you talk a lot you will eventually begin complaining. If you complain a lot you will eventually complain about not having enough time.

2) People who complain about not having any money spend the most.

3) People who talk the most about being sick are the people who are sick the most.

4) People who frequently use cell phones are poor listeners.

5) People who complain about their spouse have a spouse who complains about them.

Crash Site Dummies

The rising road toll in the Dome Valley, 5km northwest of Warkworth, has prompted one church congregation to try to lower it by praying at key accident spots.


Wow, we should have thought of this a long time ago. Police could take a break, traffic lights could be destroyed and tow trucks could all be eliminated. Not only would lives be saved but Mother Earth would be as well.

The Sting of Death

A group of students from Falwell’s Liberty University staged a counterprotest. And Campbell County authorities arrested a Liberty University student for having several homemade bombs in his car.

The student, 19-year-old Mark D. Uhl of Amissville, Va., reportedly told authorities that he was making the bombs to stop protesters from disrupting the funeral service.

Ah, the legacy lives on.

At Least It Aint Mary

Hundreds of pilgrims have been rushing to a remote village in Nepal after reports that the statue of Bhimeshwor, the Hindu god of trade and commerce, had started to “sweat” – considered an ill omen for the country’s embattled monarchy and a portent of natural disaster.

Most recently, the idol broke into a sweat in 2001 just days before Nepal’s crown prince killed the then king and eight other members of the royal family in a drunken shooting spree before turning the gun on himself.

I know that when I start sweating it’s a bad omen. Coincidentally, “bad omen” could be abbreviated “B.O.”

Why I Hate Being A Pastor

There are many reasons why I love being a pastor, but let me just share my number one reason why I hate it: BECAUSE I CAN’T SIN!

Allow me to explain. The last two stupid church softball games I have been in there have been a couple “rule stretching” situations. I’m the stupid coach and I’m also the pastor. I hate confronting other teams on rule stretching.

I’m not saying they did anything wrong, I’m saying I didn’t have the guts to go find out by asking. Reason why: I know I’ll sin.

I’m competitive. My favorite coaches in sports are Bobby Knight and Mike Ditka. I like a little yellin and screamin chair throwin. But ever since I became a pastor I have to keep my mouth shut and stay away from chairs.

I was a coach once before I was a pastor. I got in trouble for yelling at the umpires, my players, other players, and I think I even yelled at some stupid parents. My pre-pastor sport playing career also consisted of technical fouls and yelling at my coach, other people on my team and other people on other teams.

I was funny too. It wasn’t just nonsensical yelling. It was timely, biting sarcasm at full throat. I had many a fine point.

I’m not opposed to how pastoring has calmed me, I needed it. But it eats me up to stand and do nothing and let things go because I know I’ll sin if I even start. So far God has not rewarded my team for my restraint. In fact, we lost both games, which is what eats me even more.

I’m just saying, it’s what I hate. That’s all. I’m done. Seriously, I’m done. I coach no more. I’m done.

Satan 1: Joshua 0

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua’s efforts to become a preacher.

“Satan saw my husband as a threat. Satan attacked him because he saw (Joshua) as a threat,” Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV.

Riiiight.

George M’s Prophecy

OK, this is the last one, I promise.

George McClellan, one of the most arrogant and stupid generals to serve in the US armed forces also received a vision concerning the future of America. The vision also helped him protect Washington DC from Robert E. Lee, but he lost his job anyway.

I guess that Lincoln guy wasn’t Christian enough to keep a prophet on his side.

I think the reason why America won’t show up in prophecy is because America is so awesome we make our own prophecies and thus, don’t really need God’s little opinions.