Beaten up by Jesus

“A Jackson man smashed a framed picture of Jesus Christ over another man’s head, police say.”

Apparently a guy was going to another guy’s house and messing with him over the past few months. Last week the guy entered the home and took a picture of Jesus off the wall and attacked the resident and then charged him with a knife.

In all my years of tracking Jesus in the news, this is the first time I’ve seen a picture of Jesus used as a weapon.

I would say that Jesus was definitely framed in this crime.

Jesus Welcomes you To Hawkins, Texas. Maybe

Hawkins, Texas has a large ugly sign welcoming you to their town. Except the sing says, “Jesus welcomes you to Hawkins.”


So, of course, some hyper-sensitive anti-religion people must have this sign removed. For some reason, it’s an anti-religion group from Wisconsin that is particularly bothered by Jesus’ welcoming nature.

The group’s attorney, said that the sign “conveys a government preference for religion over nonreligion.”

This must not be!

I don’t really care one way or the other. It’s not so much the separation of church and state issue that bothers me with this sign, it has more to do with the presumption that Jesus welcomes people to their town. Exactly what leads them to believe this? What inspired such a sign in the first place?

Although I think the separation of church and state thing is ridiculously out of hand, I also think some of the idiocy that passes in Jesus’ name is out of hand.

Jesus Shops the Ikea

Jesus’ face was recently seen in an Ikea men’s room in Glasgow.

ikeajesus“I went in to the toilet and there it was on the main door when I put my hand out. I said “Oh my word, it’s Jesus”

‘I tried to subtly snap a photo because the last thing you want is to be heard taking a photo in a toilet,’ he added.

“Despite his divine encounter, Mr Simons left the store empty handed. ‘I actually went for tiebacks for curtains but they didn’t have any. ‘So Jesus didn’t help us there.’

Jesus was the son of a carpenter, so perhaps He was checking out new ways of making the furniture. Either that or it takes a divine Creator to figure out how to put together Ikea furniture.

Evangelism Technique #3,426: Don’t Clean Church Walls









“A narrow red stain that has remained for years beneath a painting of a crucified Christ at the Saint John the Evangelist church in Newport, Rhode Island, has led the church’s pastor to speculate on its possible meaning and the presence of Jesus.”

“For myself, I find that in leading the Stations of the Cross … when I get to the 12th Station, I can’t help but contemplate the meaning of the mysterious red mark below it,” Humphrey told the congregation. “I stop, look, pray, and listen. And when I do, what I always hear is, ‘Pay attention. I am here.’ Jesus is here.”

“It’s almost as if God is saying there is something to pay attention to in this church,” Humphrey said.

Oh wow, that last line kills me.

Incidentally, attendance at the church has skyrocketed since Jesus’ blood stain showed up. Which I guess makes sense since there wasn’t anything else to pay attention to in this church previously.

Jesus Moth

A woman in Texas believes she has been visited by a moth with Jesus on its wings. The Imperial Moth, which is brown and yellow, allegedly has the appearance of Jesus on its wings. See for yourself.

jesus moth

She believes it is Jesus and takes it, of course, as a sign.

Esquilin had been praying for a way to continue her daughter’s education, and believes that the timing of the moth’s appearance is significant. The family also discovered that the color yellow symbolises hope, and brown represents important news.

“I believe this was a sign,” she explained. “God is letting me know good news is coming and to keep the hope.”

So, there ya go. Jesus did talk about moths once, putting your treasure in heaven not where moths can eat it, which seems to be not consistent with her interpretation of the “sign,” but alas, it’s not the first time Jesus’ appearance has overshadowed His words. T’won’t be the last time either.