Fighting is a tough subject. Sometimes it’s appropriate to fight for things other times it’s not. People who never fight are people who have lost all hope or love. People who fight all the time have also lost hope and love, along with many other things too I would guess.
I came across this blog post on communication and how much fighting is juuuuust right.
Researcher John Gottman of the University of Seattle (“Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”) has been studying marriage for more than 25 years, watching couples interact, and tracking divorce rates. He has found that there is a “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions. The ratio hovers right around 5 to 1: Five positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction.
Now part of this ratio is common sense. If your ratio is 2 to 1 or 3 to 1, you just don’t have enough that is positive in the relationship to counter the frustrations. But let’s say your ratio is 10 to 1, or even 100 to 1. Isn’t that ideal? You fight so rarely that you can hardly remember the last time?
No. In fact, couples who fight so little are actually significantly less happy in the relationship three years later, than couples who are closer to 5 to 1. Why? Most likely, you are avoiding the inevitable disagreements and disgruntlement that comes with a daily relationship. If you don’t put that on the table, it’s going to fester and disintegrate the relationship from within.
Interesting. The freedom to argue is a sign of good things. However, it should be measured out with lots of good talking.
When we consider the Church and our ability to retain unity, we must keep in mind that arguing will happen and it aint all bad. It may, in fact, be a sign of a healthy relationship.
If you aren’t allowed to argue with your church something is wrong. If all you do is argue with your church something is wrong. I have no further point, just thinking.