When I was a young, insecure man I read a lot of self-help books. There are bits of good advice to be had in these books. Many of the bits of advice were tied to Scripture, usually in an odd way. Like manifesting: if you put a dream into words the dream will happen. The Scripture they use for this is “The word became flesh.” Gag.
From time to time I dabble in self-help stuff again, often just for reminders of priorities, time management, and how to spend time as the stages of life progress. Inevitably I get fed up with the self-help advice just like I did in the past.
Their idea of success is a core reason why their advice falls flat to someone who knows the Bible. Their success is usually money and winning, maintaining a standard of living that doesn’t jive with NT Christianity.
Oh sure, they talk about making all that money so you can be generous, but it’s kind of tacked on, the rich man’s guilt, a thing they have to say so as not to be one of those evil rich people you hear about.
Achieving their success requires selfishness, that is, in fact, why it is called “self-help,” because you are only helping yourself. Often the motivation to achieve is based on showing up people, being better than others, winning at all costs, being better than your parents, lots of anger and resentment, etc.
“Pay yourself first” is typical advice. You have to sacrifice relationships to do your goals and achieve your dreams. You have to be a bit of a jerk to really achieve. One standard self-help advice says to remove yourself from people who bring you down.
That’s pretty much everyone at some point or another isn’t it?! NT Christianity says to esteem others better than yourself. The strong should bear the infirmities of the weak. Self-help says to get rid of the weak to get more strong.
Worldly success requires selfishness.
Spiritual success requires self-denial.
You cannot serve God and mammon.
So, now we have to define what spiritual success is.
As I understand it, spiritual success is being conformed to the image of Christ. Growing up into the perfect man Christ Jesus. In order to grow you actually have to do some stuff.
This is a controversial statement in Christianity with our rampant Calvinism that says God does it all, we’re just passive blobs. And with the over-emphasis on faith alone without works, we’ve come to believe that all works, even Spirit led works after salvation, are somehow bad and antithetical to grace.
Some think spiritual success means you go away from people. You just go work on yourself. Monks do this. So do people who isolate from church because all those weird, hypocritical Christians are in there and we’re totally better than them.
Others go the opposite direction and think spiritual success looks like number of followers, how many conversions you’ve done, how many people are in your church, how much money and size of the church building you have, etc. Something that can be counted.
Both of these are nothing but conformity to the world. This is just Christian self-help selfishness.
True spiritual success looks like Christ. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of love and He lived that out by dedicating His body and will to the will of His Father. What did that look like? Sacrificial loving service.
You can’t do sacrificial loving service alone in a cave separated from others. You can’t do that if your focus is attracting more people to adore you. You can’t love an individual because you’re so concerned about getting the next one.
Sacrificial loving service like Christ did will make you be around undesirable people, people the world has cast aside as not worth the trouble. It will put you in opposition to many who are going after worldly success, and especially those who are going after spiritual success in a selfish manner (isolation or attracting a crowd).
Spiritual success does not look successful by worldly, measurable standards. But nor is it a denial of all people either though, because being alone eliminates the possibility of loving sacrificial service.
Spiritual success, growth in Christ, is a worthy goal, it is the mark we are pressing forward to. The race we are running, the fight we are fighting. There are things you can do to advance and obtain. But they’re not selfish! They’re not even done primarily for you.
Ultimately they are done for your Father in heaven, other people can benefit from this, but your primary goal is to please your heavenly Father and your commander, Jesus Christ.
The result of Jesus’ loving sacrificial service was crucifixion. People didn’t like it. You won’t get worldly acclaim or win many friends by actually following and growing into Christ. Marvel not if the world hates you.
But the number of people you influence is not the measure. The praise of others is not the goal. Living with the destination of standing before God and giving an account is the motive. Hearing, “Well done, good and faithful servant” is the goal. All of this is based on love for the Lord your God and loving your neighbor.
Live for that measure of success and you will not have any eternal regrets.
anti-itch meditation 