I live in a house with two teenage girls and one almost teenage boy. That being the case, there are lots of arguments.
You cannot say a sentence in this house without someone arguing with you.
“Yes you can,” I can hear my daughter say.
In many cases, the arguer has no idea what they are talking about, which makes a guy wonder why they argue? Who cares? You don’t even know what was said.
Which leads me to believe that arguing isn’t always about what is said, but about who said it.
If my son says something, one, if not both, of his sisters feel compelled to argue. Their thinking must go like this:
Knowing how dumb my brother is, I can only assume he is wrong again. Clearly, this moron must be shown to be a moron, therefore, I MUST argue.
The issue isn’t really what was said, it’s more who said it.
The stupid thing about arguing is that it forces you to go as far away from the original point as possible to make your strongest case.
If the point is a position of a despised person or despised group of people, you will not only go as far away from that one point, but as far away from all their points.
I have seen this to be true in many areas.
Calvinists, who despise non-Calvinists, will immediately despise all that a non-Calvinist stands for. A non-Calvinist will not just disagree with one point of Calvinism, but with all points, immediately.
Republicans, who despise Democrats, will not just despise one point, but will run from all points of Democrats, and vice versa.
Young boys who despise girls, will despise anything a girl says and move as far away as possible from all girl-like points.
Any reasonable person who thinks about stuff, should concede that the other side might have some valid points. There are few exceptions to this rule.
If you think Democrats or Republicans have nailed every issue perfectly, you have some more thinking to do.
A person who immediately lines up in all cases with Democrats, does not do this because Democrats are right all the time, and they’ve carefully thought through all the issues. No, they march in lockstep with Democrats, because they despise Republicans!
Wisdom comes by ignoring the messenger and dealing with the message. Sometimes the message is wrong and needs refutation, which is fine. Sometimes the messenger is a moron, but actually has a point. Be careful.
The next time you feel the urge to flip out completely on someone, remember, they have a brain too, and it is possible they have used it while forming their beliefs.
If you have to refute everything they say, check your heart. You might just hate these people.