One Dweeb’s Opinion of all Those Groups Out There

Apparently, the cool thing nowadays is to belong to groups. This may have been a cool thing in previous days, too. I don’t know. I’ve never been “cool.”

I believe the term “dweeb” was invented for guys like me. Definitely not a nerd, didn’t get algebra.

There are so many groups it’s ridiculous. Every person with a hobby has a group to join about their hobby. Every job has a career group to join. Every possible thing you can hate in the world has a group of people who hate it.

People who eat vegetables have a group. I don’t even, I mean, you eat vegetables. Great. Good for you. Why do you need a group?

Perhaps I shall create a group for people who don’t belong to any group because they think groups are stupid. I shall call it the Non-Grouping Group. Meetings are the second Wednesday of the sixth week of the thirteenth month of the year 1098287.

Be sure to sign up for our newsletter giving you the latest non-events of our non-group.

It’s possible I’m just missing the boat on this one. I guess I don’t feel a need to have 1,387 other people approve of my hobby in order to make it through another day.

I think the whole need for groups derives from the downfall of the family unit. It used to be people could survive in the world because they knew they had a “group” who had their back already. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist.

Perhaps belonging to a group bucks up your self-esteem. “See, there’s this whole group of people who enjoy playing Pink Floyd songs backwards on a harmonica. I’m not weird.”

No, you are weird, you just managed to find 1,387 other people who are just as weird as you. There are 7 billion people in the world. 7 Billion. Nice group you have there.

I’m not really going anywhere with this. I’ve tried several times to make a biblical point out of this. It didn’t work.

I know, the Church, is a group, too. I know. It’s nice to have a group of like-minded folk around you. I get it. I just don’t get why every single detail of a person’s life has to have a group identity. Something is not right about that.

I bet the Antichrist will have a group. Probably a diet plan too. And a Antichrist Diet Plan Group for that matter.

Anyway, again, don’t forget to sign up for my non-group group for people who are confident in themselves enough to not have to have a group approve of every action they partake of in a day. You can sign up at the link below.


(There is no link. See, it was a joke. There is no group. You don’t need a group of people to approve of your non-groupness. You can just non-group and carry on. God loves you.)

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