Is My Answering Machine a Sign From God?

Every time I put a new greeting on our answering machine and set the correct date and time, we have a storm that knocks out our power within a week. When the power goes out, my answering message and the date and time get blanked out. I reset it again. Power goes out again.

I have done this many times. Often I just won’t reset it and let the machine play that weird voice thing. But then it tells me people who called today called three days ago at 1:35am.

Eventually I get sick of not knowing when people called and will reset it. Inevitably, within a week or so, the power will go out.

Now, you may tell me this is coincidence, or that it can’t possibly go the way I say it does. But it does. The last time our power went out was in December. I haven’t reset the answering machine, and lo and behold, our power has not gone off.

I know, if I reset the machine today, the power will go out soon. I don’t want that, so I don’t reset the machine.

Yup, that’s right, my answering machine controls our local weather. Hard to believe, but it’s true. There’s a chance that if we all reset our answering machines the same day we might end global warming, or start global warming, or whatever is different from what it is now.

So, my answering machine controls the local weather, or does it? Perhaps I am under Satanic attack?! Maybe Satan is messing with me. Maybe I should do an exorcism of my answering machine.

Perhaps it’s the sovereignty of God and He is testing my patience, seeing how temporally minded I am. Maybe I should pray about it more, ask God to spare my electricity going out for the sake of a proper working answering machine.

Should I fast and pray? Is this chastening from God for secret sins?

Then again, there are other people in my house. Maybe they are weak in faith and God is judging them. Perhaps it’s their secret sins that are messing with our electrical consistencies.

However, since I’m not a Calvinist, maybe I can just say that it’s dumb luck. Time and chance happen to them all. The electricity goes out on the righteous and the unrighteous. Suck it up, wuss boy.

Odds are you are not quite sure what I’m driving at here. Why am I even talking about this and making it into a spiritual issue?

For the same reason you make all your ridiculous problems into hyper-sensitive, self-centered, narcissistic, spiritual issues.

Stop it. Do the stuff God revealed, stop trying to interpret what He hasn’t.

I’m going to go set my answering machine now and wait for the electricity to go off.

3 thoughts on “Is My Answering Machine a Sign From God?”

  1. Maybe I’m in danger of being irreligious but if you get a battery-operated answering machine, you’ll never have ti wonder!

  2. That would make too much sense and therefore, as sense usually does, would end most theological wonderment.

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