Who Won the Calvinism Debate? I Can Tell You

Last week there was a much publicized debate about Calvinism.

Although I’ve heard enough debating about this subject to fill my lifetime, I did listen to some of it this morning for some reason.

Let me just say this:

If you are a Calvinist, you believe the Calvinists cleaned up.

If you are a non-Calvinist, you believe the non-Calvinists cleaned up.

The way I decide who won a debate is like this: who would I like to sit down and talk to more about this and related subjects.

So, in my opinion, who won this debate?

I definitely did not like one guy on each side.

Tim Jones, one of the Calvinist guys, breathed funny when he talked and got all breathy. I don’t like breathy speakers, they sound fake to me. Trying too hard. Just say your stuff and stop trying to emotionally get worked up to emotionally work up others. Just talk.

I dismissed Mark Driscoll many years ago because he also uses weird breathy talk. It irritates me. It took the church many, many years to find out Driscoll was a messed up guy. I knew this just from listening to his voice the first time I heard him. People that get all breathy in their speech are trying to stir up stuff that isn’t there. It’s a gimmick, covering a lack of substance. Stop it.

The non-Calvinist that I didn’t appreciate, Brain Zahnd, just said weird things in weird ways. I think we come from different worlds.

Both of these guys I didn’t like are probably nice guys and good human beings. I just didn’t like their presentation.

I would have much preferred hearing a debate between Dan Montgomery and Austin Fischer. I would have gained more out of that. At one point I even cheered for Montgomery, the Calvinist, for poking a hole in one of the dumb things Zahnd said.

If you read this blog or attend my church, you know I detest Calvinist theology. I’ve read all of Calvin’s Institutes and wrote a paper on each chapter. I liked about 70% of what he said, which was a higher percentage than I anticipated. The rest (which mainly constitutes what people mean by “Calvinism”) was hooey. I know the arguments (you don’t have to repeat them to me) and I don’t agree with them.

So based on breathing styles, the non-Calvinists won the debate hands down. I would love to sit down and chat with Austin Fischer.

Calvinists–we already detest your theology and your notion of God, try not to further detest us by dropping into breathy speech patterns. Not winning ya any points.

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