The car pulls into the driveway. The old lady gets out. Ten minutes later she rings the doorbell.
“Oh Lord, what should I do?” I pray. “Should I stay or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double. So, come on! Let me know, Lord, should I stay or should I go?”
Yup, the Jehovah’s Witnesses have stopped by again. What to do? Over my years of experience dealing with JW’s here are my tips for dealing with the arrival of a Jehovah’s Witness.
1. Duck and Cover
This is a valid option. Yes, I have seen the old lady exit the car and then I dive behind the kitchen counter, army crawl into the hallway, and take shelter in a bedroom with the lights off. This also works effectively with Schwann’s trucks.
Hey, why not? You weren’t going to do anything else for the next hour anyway. JW’s have been trying to re-market themselves less as arguers, and more as friendly people just trying to get you to heaven. But many will argue. If you’re the kind of person who likes to argue, go for it, I won’t stop ya.
3. Edumacate yourself
If you’re going to have a problem with a group of people, you might as well know why. JW’s don’t believe Jesus is divine. They deny His bodily resurrection. John 1:1, according to their awful translation of the Bible (The New World Translation), says “the word was A god.” No trinity for them. There is no hell, unbelievers are annihilated. Only 144,000 go to heaven. They believe Jesus appeared on the earth in 1914 to teach a refresher course for true believers. They have wrongly predicted the date of Armageddon many times. They believe they are the only people to have a true and pure religion.
4. Always take the material they offer
I will often have a brief conversation with them, bring up how the 144,000 are actually Jewish folks during the tribulation period, which they have no idea what to do with that, so they will “be on our way” but will always offer printed material, which I take and throw away. It’s my small part to aid them on their way to bankruptcy.
5. Be nice
These are real people. The assumption is that door-to-door witnesses are highly educated, solid believers This isn’t the case. They have to do this sort of stuff. Many have no idea what they are talking about. They are trained to proof-text, not to do any in-depth thinking, you know, like Christians. You never know, you might help one truly find out who Jesus is.
In the end, JW’s do door-to-door witnessing to maintain good standing in their church. It took guts to knock on your door. More guts than most Christians have ever displayed. They look at it as a witnessing opportunity, and I believe you should too. Or you can army-crawl down the dark hallway. Either way.