Self-esteem requires a certain amount of deception
Self-esteem is defined as
“a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities”
“a confidence and satisfaction in oneself”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I find this impossible without lying to myself. I also understand that many people are more awesomer than I am, so maybe I’m in the minority here.
I have never had good self-esteem. I grew up being teased and feeling embarrassed about being legally blind and being cross-eyed. Not being able to see what’s going on all the time has a tendency to make you do really, really dumb things.
Due to all this (and more), I imagine I would have pretty horrible self-esteem if I were clinically analyzed.
Well, here’s the other thing: I don’t have much clinical analyst-esteem either.
Not only do I not esteem myself very highly, I don’t esteem others very highly either. And yes, I don’t esteem others often to the point of sinfulness!
Unfortunately, being made fun of as a kid turned me into a guy with a biting sarcasm that can tear others down quickly. Sharper than a two-edged sword kind of sarcasm. This has gotten me in trouble repeatedly.
The reason I learned to tear others down is because if I’m low, I need to bring you lower in order for me to feel better. I lie about how bad others are and have to lie to convince myself I’m better than I know I am.
It is my opinion, and I usually stand alone on this, God doesn’t want you to have self-esteem. Self-esteem is nothing more than being your own cheerleader, tooting your own horn, rah-rah go get em Tiger mind games that generally leads to tearing down others for your own good feelings.
For a people who reportedly believe in total depravity, I am stunned at how many Christians think so highly of themselves.
The problem with fixating on self-esteem is that you are always comparing yourself to others, or ignoring others to fixate on yourself. Neither of these responses gets you close to being loving.
Allow me to pontificate the next few days on why I think self-esteem is antithetical to Christianity. (Be sure to esteem me highly for my correct usage of the word “antithetical.” I felt really special about myself for using that word.)