Seriously, I’m not joking. As soon as your child takes their first breath, you should already know what aspects of your life you are going to eliminate.
Kids are a huge responsibility. They will tax your energy and patience. You cannot afford them.
In order to have the energy, patience and money to raise kids you have to stop doing some stuff you were doing before. You have to.
Before I had kids I used to golf. I do not golf anymore. It was too expensive and took away much of my patience. I used to have cable television. I do not have cable television because it costs too much. I used to go on vacations with my wife. I do not vacation anymore. I used to have dreams and hobbies. Not any more. I used to buy books like crazy. My wife works at the library now.
In order to be here for my kids, I chose to eliminate many fun activities from my life. I have some resentment about that, but in all honesty, not much. Having kids was something we wanted, so I’m the idiot who chose this.
I have seen many fathers carry on as if nothing happened. They keep doing all their hobbies and projects and stuff as if nothing changed. Then they get mad at their wife and kids because they have no money or time.
No, the main reason you don’t have money or time is because you keep doing stuff you shouldn’t be doing anymore. As the “man of the house,” if anyone sacrifices, it should be you. That’s why God made you a man.
You must give up on your life when you create another one. Again, look at God. What was He doing before He created the world?
No one knows! Why not? Cuz He stopped doing it once He made us! It’s not even important enough for Him to bring up.
God’s life changed radically once creation showed up. Imagine how much more God could get done if He didn’t have to put up with our constant, whiny rebellion.
Don’t be a martyr about this either. Keep a couple things, a few interests that are cheap and don’t burn up too much time, energy or money. I write, run and play guitar. Those are my three interests. None of them stresses me out, none of them costs a phenomenal amount of money and none of them demand specific times when it has to be done.
(I’m not saying you have to do my things, I’m saying limit yourself and pick a couple things you enjoy that don’t cost money or occupy specific lengths of time that will keep you from bending to fit in kid stuff. These are my three things that do that for me.)
Don’t try to live like a single guy when you have a wife and kids. I find it mind-boggling how many men haven’t figured this out. Hey, your kids are your doing. Give them a solid 18 years of your time. It’s what you signed up for.