I lack confidence. Always have and I imagine I always will. I have my reasons, ones that are based somewhat in reality, or at least were at the beginning! By “confidence” I mean being self-assured.
I have no confidence in me. I have confidence in God, which further makes me not have confidence in me. I will let the Psalmist say it for me, “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”
I consider myself to be a man, thus not worthy of my confidence!
In our society “confidence” seems to mean “the ability to talk loudly, get your vision across and sell stuff.” Confidence is generally defined in terms of people skills–our ability to be a jerk regardless of what anyone thinks.
OK, maybe that last statement was over the top, but seriously, that appears to be the world’s idea of a “confident man.”
Here’s the deal–when an un-confident person attempts to be confident, he just gets weird. He is trying to be what he is not. The quiet person gets louder. The shy person talks more. The non-seller tries selling.
Confident people tend to all look the same, which carries with it some irony. But it is my increasing opinion that true confidence is not the ability to be obnoxious or to play a part, or to become Type-A Mr. “I could sell snow to an Eskimo” Man.
No, confidence means trusting the Lord, not me. I’m just me. That’s who I am. I imagine that by the grace of God I will continue to be who I am. This is not an excuse for me to be a jerk though. “Hey, sorry I crushed you with sarcasm, but hey, that’s who I am, so deal.”
That’s just as obnoxious as Type-A Mr. “I could sell snow to an Eskimo” Man. When I see confident, cool people all act, talk, shave, wear glasses and dress the same, it shows their underlying lack of confidence. It takes no confidence to act cool.
Confidence is required to act the fool. To be the outsider. To be the offscouring of the world. But this can be taken wrong too. Being a fool is nothing to brag about. Confident fools are no good. Having the guts to be the class clown doesn’t mean you are confident; it might just mean you’re a clown.
Confidence is to be placed in God, in the work of His Spirit in you. Is His Spirit in you? Then trust Him, follow Him; not because you’re trying to be cool, but because you realize you have no clue, nothing in you to rest on.
No longer I but Christ. I have no confidence in my idiotic self. I do have confidence in God. I plan on following Him and seeing where I end up. By the grace of God I am what I am and God gives grace to the humble.
When I am weak THEN am I strong. That’s not a platitude, that actually means something.