Satan’s Women Who Want to Change Men

1 Peter 3:7 describes women as strengthless tools to be treated with honor and a husband should know this and treat her accordingly.

Experience demonstrates the inverse (wow, big words so early in the morning). What I mean is, I aint never seen that.

Instead what I see is a band of strong women who desire their men to change completely. Women are seemingly obsessed with making a guy different, changing them so they are more compatible.

Changing the spouse seems to be a female thing. Sure, there are men who would change their women, but we give up easier. Women don’t stop.

Young women are especially susceptible to this. They fall for jerks routinely in the hopes that they can save them, change them into upstanding males.

Marriage illustrates Christ’s relationship to the Church (Ephesians 5). That being the case, should women desire to change their men? Is changing your man similar to the Church desiring to change Christ? Is there a man on earth who desires a woman to change them?

What part of submission says, “Hey, stop doing that! Start doing this!”

Who is supposed to change a man? The Holy Spirit–remember yesterday’s post that men are part of the Bride of Christ. In Ephesians 5 the only person who sanctifies the other is the husband sanctifying the wife as Christ did the Church.

Men will change their wives one way or the other. There are far fewer men who have been changed by their wives, yet most men have given up trying to sanctify their wives and most women can’t stop trying to change their man.

Then again, I’m just an arrogant, white male, what do I know?

8 thoughts on “Satan’s Women Who Want to Change Men”

  1. We need a definition of love first of all. Let’s try this one: We love other people when we stop using them as means to supply our deficiencies and instead rejoice in the divine enablement for us to supply their deficiencies. “Love seeks not its own”—but rejoices in what happens when you are gripped by the truth that “it is more blessed to give than to receive”- John Piper
    The Bible tells us repeatedly that true love comes by the way of faith. I can try and love my wife with all that my human heart can muster, but that tank runs empty quick. I need to trust in Christ and have Him fill me with His love, then I’m able to be a fountain that supplies, rather than a empty vessel that demands. And likewise for the wife, having faith in Christ to fill her heart , and trusting the Holy Spirit to do the changing in her husband. Without faith being active, we become like workers that push onward hoping our good behavior will bring about what we desire, but works without faith will lead to death, even in our marriage.

  2. Paul, I like the definition you gave in the first paragraph. But I want to poke at the last thought a bit. Abraham had faith that God’s promises to him would be fulfilled; and he had works, when he produced Ishmael. So he had both faith and works. Why then didn’t it work?

  3. Hey Frank,
    I’m not sure I quite understand what your asking, are you asking why doesn’t our works of the flesh, mesh with our faith?
    I would say that any act, or work that we do on our own, outside of true faith, is leading us towards death. Isn’t that what the Pharisee’s did? They thought they were Abraham’s offspring, they knew God’s word inside and out but Jesus said they were the children of Satan. They never applied faith to anything they were reading in scripture, they used God’s word to try and make themselves self-righteous by works of the flesh.
    I myself struggle with this all the time, I try to “do” what Christ has called me to do, give to the poor, be loving to my wife and kids, so on and so on, but I at some point, I stop trusting in Christ and just start trying to do these works on my own ability. And when I reach the end of my rope it is not pretty, there is some collateral damage, Paul Walton is a sinner with a hard heart, but when the Holy Spirit shows me through God’s word that I’m not trusting Christ, I turn back to Him, and ask Him to work through me. Much better results that way, and everybody wins that has to live around me. :-)

  4. When God first spoke to Abraham, He promised Abraham a land, and to make his name great and to make him a blessing in all the earth. When Abraham arrived in Canaan, God spoke again and said, “unto thy seed will I give this land.” So it was clear that Abraham was to have a son, through whom all these promises would be fulfilled. And he believed it.

    Sarah was with him in this faith. And after many years of no children, when it appeared impossible that she would ever have a child, she made a great sacrifice and suggested that Abraham take her servant to have a child. This plan worked, and after a few initial bumps in the road, where Hagar started to get proud, things settled down. For ten years Abraham raised this son as the one that God had promised.

    Even the angel who met Hagar in the wilderness had named the son, and given some promises concerning him. These were not entirely the same as the promises given earlier, but they were direct promises from God, nonetheless.

    So there was a lot of faith at work here, and a lot of corresponding works, and even the angel of the Lord was involved. Yet, in the end, God made it clear that this was not the promise. There was something faulty with the faith, which led to faulty works.

    You mentioned that the Pharisees “never applied faith to anything they were reading in scripture.” Do you really think this is so? They expected a Messiah, and a resurrection. Didn’t this show faith in God’s word? They expected their nation to be the crown of the world. Didn’t this show faith in God’s word? They had an outer court in the Temple, where Gentiles could come and worship, so this showed that they had a kind of missionary zeal…which involved faith. The elements of the promise to Abraham: the seed, the land, and the great name; these were all things the Pharisees also wanted. So faith and works were involved again, yet it was not what God had promised.

  5. Frank,
    There is all types of faith, and all types of works, but only one true faith, and through it, are the only works that are eternal.
    Yes the Pharisees had a faith, but it was of a earthly nature, and not a heavenly one.
    I’m not sure I’m following the point that you are making.

  6. Paul,
    I think you have stated the point well enough in your last post. I think it deserves much meditation.

    We have a tendency to think of ourselves as the descendants of the apostles, and that the Pharisees are some strange group that existed around Jesus’ time, but are rather rare now. But the religion of the Pharisee is just the most natural kind to human nature…it appeals to us, and if we just follow what the majority consider to be good religion, or what our instincts tell us is good religion, and we rely on those to form our religion, then we are Pharisees.

    The only reason they appear strange to us is because when Jesus came, their covering up of sin was openly revealed…which before had been well hidden under the garment of religious order, ceremony, and tradition.

    Phariseeism means settling for something slightly different than what God has promised (like an Ishmael), and then asking God to bless it instead. It can even promote relatively happy families and marriages, under certain conditions. One of these conditions is that the standard of holiness has to be lowered.

    A husband follows Phariseeism when he starts building another kingdom, other than Christ’s…when he no longer realizes that his main reason for being a Christian is to build up Christ’s kingdom, and to bring down Satan’s kingdom. Being faithful to Christ means open warfare against sin, and constant effort to “build the walls” of Jerusalem, which means recovering truth, and putting truth in it’s right place in the hearts of himself and his family. The Reformation should never have stopped three hundred years ago.

    A common sign of Phariseeism in a husband is when he can tell you all about his business, or a sports game, but has no time to study and understand the book of Revelation. I mention this book in particular because it is the only one that has a double blessing on it, similar to the blessing given to Abraham…therefore it demands the study of the faithful, and is a mark of their faithfulness, particularly in these last days.

    A wife follows Phariseeism when she stops supporting her husband in his true work, and starts building her own dream world through him. Being overly concerned to change her husband so that she gets more attention or affection, or so that her own world is supported more, is a real sign of Phariseeism. There are a lot of marriage seminars in the churches of our time that are little better than this. It may all be done supposedly “for the glory of God”, but it ends up sanctioning sin, and patches it all up with some feel-good works, smiley faces, and sentimental emotions. The real selfishness underneath is not touched nor slain. This is very appealing to the flesh.

  7. Frank,
    So true, that many of the marriage seminars in the church now-a-days are nothing more than human band-aid efforts that don’t deal with the real issues of the heart. Persevering faith, real saving faith, is rare these days, not many of the “teachers” in these seminars actually teach about true saving, persevering faith, which would expose all works of our hearts that are contrary to the will of God.
    But one can make more money promising results through a seminar than teaching about being a true disciple, right?

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