How Marriage Destroys Christian Effectiveness

I imagine I will get busted for this post. I’m sure none of the verses I’m about to address mean what they say. I’m sure my point will be taken grossly out of context and only applied, if at all, at the exact wrong moment. But here goes.

Worshipping marriage is a problem. The Church is greatly distressed over divorce rates and single-parent homes, etc. “We must do all we can to strengthen our marriages!”

Must we? Seems to me we should do all we can to strengthen our faith. Here are some verses that show a danger in overestimating the importance of marriage to a dangerous degree:

Luke 14:16-20–Kingdom of heaven is like a man who makes a feast and invites people to attend, but they all make excuses why they can’t come including the last excuse–I’ve just gotten married, can’t make it.

–Luke 17:26,27–When the Son of Man returns it will be just like the days of Noah–everyone will be living it up and getting married.

–1 Corinthians 7:29–Let those who have wives be as though they had none.

Luke 14:26–If a man does not hate his wife he cannot be Christ’s disciple.

Now, again, I’m sure none of these verses mean what they say. But imagine, if you will, that they did mean what they said. What are the implications?

Do these verses factor in to your marriage relationship? Have you discussed these with the wife?

4 thoughts on “How Marriage Destroys Christian Effectiveness”

  1. Get the man right with God, his marriage, his family, his church will all benefit from his walk with God.

  2. My personal experience in this matter is that if we enter into marriage with even a small amount of dream-world romance, even if our intention is to serve the Lord, but it is mixed, in the back of our mind, with the idea of also pleasing ourselves, it will be disastrous. This may not appear in times of plenty, but when trials and temptations expose sin, then the wolves will shed their sheep’s clothing and slaughter will ensue.

    I’m very disillusioned with most of the marriage counselling done in the Christian world today. It seems to be aimed in this direction: you help your wife build her dream world, and she will help you build yours, and you’ll all live happily ever after…one big dream world under God.

    What I get from the texts you quoted, are that Jesus had an entirely different view. The men are here for one purpose…to finish God’s work in the earth; and the women are here to help them…to push them on in that work. Anyone who wants something else out of marriage is weaving self into the robe of Christ’s righteousness. But how can we be surprised that these things are done even in the church when people are raised from childhood up to idolize each other? Sentimental romance is taught in Disney, Barbie, the fairy tales, etc. and only gets worse as the material becomes more adult.

    At the fall, the woman sought for power and security…and she still does. And who better to give her that power than a suitable man? Since she has less physical strength, she seduces him with flirting and sex appeal. At the fall, the man fell for her beauty and idolized the woman above God. And he still does, even in the professed church of God. I have seen church members charmed with the attraction of a male member to a female member, and celebrating the marriage as made in heaven, only to have it crash and burn a year later, with church members bitterly divided over which of the two was at fault. Actually they ALL were at fault for encouraging the thing.

    I think a better picture of what marriage is given by some of the martyrs, where the men were going to the stake and the women, instead of weeping for their personal loss, were encouraging their husbands to be faithful unto death.

    The last text you quoted, about “hating your wife” would have caused most of the religious leaders of His time to brand Him as a fanatic. And they would still do it today. Shouldn’t he have “toned it down” and “been more gentle and reasonable”? No…the topic is a serious one, and idolatry of family is a big pit that man stumbles into all the time. Family can be a beautiful thing, but sin has ruined much of this. Only if the family members will all work to overcome their evil tendencies, and lift each other up to do the work God has given each of them, will the family on earth approach the happiness and joy of the family in heaven. But if the family members start to resist and oppose this onward sanctifying work, there will be trouble. “A man’s foes shall be they of his own household.”

    This verse will also be fulfilled in the last times: 1 Cor. 7:15 – “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.” There will be separations based not upon the mistakes of the husband or wife, but on unbelief. It will come.

  3. Jeff,
    As I read all these scriptures in the context of the chapter that they are written in I believe they all have to do with our priorities. If we value anything above God we have made it an idol. Certainly there are many more verses that direct us to honor, love and protect our spouse, and family.

    Would God want us to love our enemies, but hate our families? We must examine scripture in light of all of God’s word, and not just one verse taken out of context. Christ was using strong language to make a point, that we can have no other gods, before the One true God.

  4. Context is always vital. It is also vital to deal with every verse on a subject, which I seldom see done when it comes to people’s marriage advice half-taken from Scripture.

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