1) You don’t know what a passage means until you look up what your guy says it means.
2) When your guy leaves, your life falls apart.
3) The first thing you learned was not the Bible, but your guy’s super-secret method of understanding the Bible.
4) You think Scripture is dangerous, certain parts ought to be avoided. If you start reading in the wrong spot, you just might doom your soul.
5) When you fall into sin and struggle you think, “If only my guy was here to help.”
6) You recommend your guy way more than you recommend people read the Bible.
7) You never read any verses in the Bible other than ones your guy mentions. And when you accidentally read some, you feel a little guilty.
8) You begin arguments with “Thus saith my guy” rather than “Thus saith the Lord.”
9) Although you would never admit you pray to your guy, you know you’ve had talks with him in your head.
10) Holy Spirit? Who needs Him? I got my guy!
11) Although you’d never actually say that only people who agree with your guy’s system are in heaven, you do have some verses that make you lean in that direction.