Satireday: Church Prostitutes

You thought it was bad for churches to give away shot glasses, check this one out. New Vistas Fellowship, a 1,400 member non-denominational church in suburban Los Angeles, is offering free prostitutes to all new members in the month of February.

“We expect this move to cause our Christian brothers to be offended, but getting people to church is more important than the sensibilities of my brothers. People are going to hell.” Said Pastor Ray White.

Well that’s nice. As with most pastors, he cites the necessity to engage the world where they are and the world has clearly shown that sex sells, why not use it to sell Jesus?

“Temple prostitution has a proud tradition, it is in the Bible so it’s not like we’re making this stuff up. I spend most of my week with people who visit prostitutes and I want those people in church. The idea just makes sense to me,” Pastor White added.

It may make sense to him but, as expected, Christians are outraged by this stunt.

“I mean seriously, tricks are not for kids of the eternal Creator,” says Betty Tyson.

Can’t argue with that.

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