Must Watch TV

The FCC is considering making cable companies sell cable channels a la carte (which means “you can pick the ones you want,” for those of you who read the NIV). I’m all for it. I’d buy about 15 channels and my bill would be considerably less no doubt. It is done in an effort to keep filthy programs out of homes where people don’t want filthy programs.

However, televangelists are up in arms over this! They fear that people will not choose their precious channels filled with mediocre programming and random shots of blank chalk boards.

“We don’t just want to preach to the choir; we want to reach the unchurched,” said Paul Crouch Jr. of Trinity Broadcast Network in Santa Ana. “The bottom line is that we want to be everywhere on cable.”

No, the bottom line is that you know you’re out of a job because only about 47 people in America believe your heretical gibberish you call Christianity. The unchurched are much better off being unchurched than they are seeing one of TBN’s blasphemous programs. Go FCC.

2 thoughts on “Must Watch TV”

  1. man what an awesome idea. I would get do it 100% for sure.

    Sci-fi channel
    Cartoon Network
    TLC
    Discovery channel
    History Channel
    ESPN
    fox
    cbs
    nbc
    abc

    I think that would do it for me. If tech-tv still existed I’d get that, but alas it does not.

  2. I”d replace the Sci-Fi channel with the Comedy Channel. Also, you have to say the History Channel because then when people ask you what you watch you can say “Oh, the History Channel” and then they think you are smart and principled even though you’ve only watched it for about 15 minutes that one time when they did that special on comic books. ANd don’t forget USA so you can watch wrestling and WGN to watch the stupid Cubs.

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