God and I have a deal we agreed on long ago. The deal goes like this–whatever Jeff says in front of people, God will make sure the exact opposite of what he says will happen. This morning I said in my message how the Cubs can’t get rid of Sammy Sosa and lo and behold it appears as if they might! I’ve figured out how to manipulate God for my benefit, it’s taken me years to figure it out, but I’ve got it now.

Anything you want done, just let me know and I’ll go before people and say it won’t happen and then it will. Well, I hope they go through with the trade. It appears as though the Baltimore Orioles will pick him up, which is good, East Coast teams need more shlubs. They can have him. At least one more city will see the total futility of the loser. Boy, well, I better stop before I make God have to change His plans.